Can Siblings Become Friends?
December 7, 2016

Can siblings become our best friends? Should we expect this?
What challenges do siblings face in becoming friends?
How might parents foster sibling friendships in the home?
I explore these issues at the Biola Center for Christian Studies blog here:
Friendship Among Siblings: Embracing the uniqueness of familial bond

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  1. Dr. Cuddeback,

    You are quickly becoming one of the largest influences on my life and thought, and that’s nothing but a good thing.

    You have helped me both better appreciate and also improve all of the relationships in my life, and for that you have my sincerest thanks. Particularly in the cases of my parents and my sister, I see a richness there that I was blind to before — not to imply the relationships were stagnant before — but there’s a beauty and depth there that you have exposed to me. I dare say that you have given me a greater ability to love them, because you have given me a greater ability to see what they are.

    Even though it’s difficult to figure out precisely what it is prudent to change in the particular, simply moving things that are in the realm of what you don’t know that you don’t know into the realm of what you do know that you don’t know is extremely valuable, and I can already see a concrete improvement in my relationships with all three.

    Thank you for doing the work you do. I think it likely touches more lives than even you suspect.

    1. JSG, Your words are deeply encouraging to me. I am very grateful.

  2. Indeed! My brother and I have been best friends for the last 63 years. We may however be somewhat of an anomaly. We are the youngest of five siblings, having three older sisters. Our parents strove to treat all the same which drove the girls together and drove my brother and I together. While we were young, it was the “the five” against “them”, but as we matured we broke up and only my brother and I have remained steadfast. Our father treated us the same, even as though we were the same age, though my brother is 15 months older than me.

    Parents might foster sibling friendships by seeking individualistic/unique relationships with each of their children and not interfering in sibling relationship development. To insert themselves, is as looking for a shortcut, which always leaves one wanting, when it comes to things that must be honestly earned.

    Siblings face challenges becoming friends from outside forces. Most often the force is parental attention, but in large families it can be from additional siblings as well.

    In all relationships, the key is selflessness. Each must strive to be a good friend before either will be found. IMO, this is true in marriage as well. My wife and I strive to out do the other in grace giving and expression of our love. Those who relish in “I got mine!”, will indeed find they have themselves only.